my latest over at goldcoast.com.au … No pot of gold in voting

you can read it here, or you can read it here, complete with comments from the readers. always entertaining, i find.

WHEN are people going to stop thinking that a change in council or state government is going to provide some kind of miracle answer for the Gold Coast’s troubles?

If our ongoing readership survey is any guide, only 26% of goldcoast.com.au readers consider themselves to be on the right-hand side of politics, and yet all I hear here are continual calls for the sacking of both Ron Clarke’s mob and Anna Bligh’s team.

(Please do take a few minutes to take the survey — it would help us a lot. Ta.)

And then, lo, the sun will come out from behind a cloud and there will be more police, more development, less waste, a deeper Broadwater, better public transport, less crime, and an Oceanway everybody will love.

Apparently.

Expecting money and/or resources from a state government for this city in the current political climate, short AND long-term, is a pipe dream.

Why? Because neither side of politics sees the point.

Of the 10 Gold Coast area state seats, six are held by LNP members.

Of the four ALP members, only Margaret Keech’s seat of Albert could be considered ‘safe’. She won the seat polling 49.98% of the vote in 2009, 11% ahead of her nearest rival.

Of the six LNP members, only one — Alex Douglas’ seat of Gaven — could be considered ‘at risk’. Douglas won by just 2% in 2009.

The winning margins of the other five LNP members range from 4.3% (Michael Crandon in Coomera) through to a whopping 32% by John-Paul Langbroek in Surfers Paradise.

The Gold Coast is blue-ribband conservative virtually from top to bottom.

It’s been that way for a long time because this is where developers came to spend their money, and where they will come to spend their money again.

It doesn’t take a planet-sized brain to acknowledge that business people — particularly developers — are always going to lean towards the party that favours the top end of town.

So here’s the Gold Coast’s problem.

The conservative side of politics doesn’t need to spend money on the city in order to win the majority of seats here. They’ve already got at least five seats in the bag, with maybe another 3 or 4 potential wins. They just have to turn up.

The left side of politics won’t spend the money here because they don’t believe it will do them any good at the ballot box.

In other words, they don’t think they can buy enough votes to gain any more seats on the Gold Coast.

It won’t stop them promising, or even spending money on us between now and the election, but it won’t be in the amounts or areas that we need it.

The council elections are another matter.

Never has a council needed replacing more than the one we’ve been stuck with for the last eight years.

But even if it’s a whole new team of bright-eyed bushy-tailed councillors with a new mayor, things won’t change until the bureaucracy is dealt with.

There is something inherently wrong with the way this Council spends money, distributes money, employs people and deals with the public and potential investors and developers.

That doesn’t come from the councillors themselves.

Until someone has the balls — either at the council or state government level — to put a broom through the bureaucracy’s methods and personnel, nothing will change.

So vote away, gentle readers, vote away. Change is going to have to come from the bottom up, because there is no magic bullet from above.

What else is on my mind this week:

• Why are the Australian cricket team wearing sports bras? Yes, I know it’s just the design of the shirt. But why? Is it an absorbent patch? Are cricketers particularly sweaty between the shoulderblades? Will this shirt make them capable of not flailing around outside off-stump like a flag in the breeze? Because nothing else seems to.
• Stephen Smith will be the next leader of the Australian Labor Party. You heard it here, oh, fifth or sixth, I expect.

my latest column over at goldcoast.com.au … ‘Socialites’ and the damage they do to the Gold Coast’s image

You can read it here, or you can read it here, complete with a classic set of comments from the gentle readers of goldcoast.com.au. Worth the click, for the comments alone.

SIXTY Minutes didn’t do the Gold Coast any favours last Sunday, that’s for sure — I just don’t think it was for the reasons everyone assumes.

I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life watching that wide-eyed, breathless, over-dramatised piece of selective reporting.

Did you SEE those women? Oh my god.

Oh, no, wait … not the crime victims, no.

I’m talking about those ‘socialites’ … hooly-dooly.

If they seriously think they are representative of the best of the Gold Coast we are in deep, DEEP trouble.

I’m totally unbothered about the so-called ‘crime explosion’ 60 Minutes seemed so concerned about.

We’re a big city. Crime happens in big cities. Fact of life.

Go to certain parts of London late at night alone, you’re going to get done over as well.

Paris is gorgeous, in my top three cities in the world. Still got mugged on the Metro.

Sydney produces someone who, allegedly, can kill 10 senior citizens in their beds.

Melbourne has an underworld they make television series about, for crying out loud.

If tourists come to a big city like the Gold Coast expecting no crime, then they’re naive and innocent and shouldn’t be allowed a passport for their own protection, frankly.

No, crime wasn’t the big damage done to our reputation by 60 Minutes.

‘Socialites’ like the ones who seemed so keen to show Liam Bartlett their assets last Sunday are doing more damage than any crime stat.

If anyone has high hopes of convincing the nation and the world of our sophistication, class and elegance, then one look at that report will expose what a laughing-stock we can be at times.

We have these nice hotels and other venues and yet they seem to be filled with D-grade socialites who wouldn’t make it past the doorman in a European city of any class.

‘We don’t mix in those circles’, one said when Liam Bartlett quizzed them about the Coast’s crime scene.

Riiiiight.

Because there’s never been a dodgy developer or convicted conman running around at the same cocktail parties as you, ladies?

Peter Foster, darling of the social set more often than not, comes immediately to mind.

When are the Surfers/Main Beach set going to realise there’s more to this city than the fake nails, fake tans, fake smiles and pseudo-sophistication of the social scene.

This town needs to get real, seriously.

My latest over at goldcoast.com.au … ‘Winners are grinners’

You can read this here, or you can read it here:

YOU beauty!

Saturday morning’s decision to award the Gold Coast the 2018 Commonwealth Games is the best thing to happen to the city since the glory days of the IndyCar racing — and then some.

You won’t find a bigger group of cynics than a newsroom full of journalists, and I’m not ashamed to say that in Friday afternoon’s editorial conference there weren’t too many of us in the room who thought the city would win the bid.

Not only that, we didn’t think many people would show up yesterday morning at the Broadwater Parklands either.

I’m pleased to say we couldn’t have been more wrong.

Not only have the comments on goldcoast.com.au since the win been overwhelmingly positive, but at least 5000 people turned up to cheer the result and celebrate some rare good news for the Gold Coast.

Good on you!

Of course there are the whingers and the Negative Nellies who want to remind us all how much it’s going to cost, and how awful the traffic’s going to be and how much higher the rates are going to be.

Apart from the traffic, I think the rest of those complaints are just complaining for the sake of complaining.

Of course it’s going to cost money. Infrastructure always does.

I’ll tell you what else it does — creates jobs, creates confidence and creates facilities we’ll still be using 50 years for now.

If anything, winning the Games has accelerated the process of making this city the best it can be.

Get over yourselves, whiners!

Would you rather we not get that infrastructure at all? Or at a slower rate, on a whim of a politician who may or may not need our votes?

This way the politicians — regardless of stripe — are committed, publicly, legally, GLOBALLY, to providing top-class facilities by April 4, 2018.

Where’s the loss in that?

One thing’s for sure, if we all sit around grumping about how awful it’s going to be, it will be.

The Commonwealth Games, and the World Expo six years later, turned Brisbane into a fantastic place to be. I was in my last year of high school. Trust me, it was AWESOME.

The same thing will happen for the Gold Coast if we throw ourselves into this wholeheartedly.

So, c’mon, whingers. Get up off your miserable backsides, and head out into the sunshine and feel how excited this city is, suddenly.

Give it a shot.

my latest blog over at goldcoast.com.au … None of them get my vote

you can read it here. or you can read it here.

I’VE got to be honest with you, I think running a poll on who Gold Coasters would vote for in a mayoral election that’s still eight months away is a bit like asking people how long is a piece of string.

It equates to what the Republicans are doing in the United States right now.

Sixteen months out from a presidential election and already GOP candidates are trawling around the country boring everyone senseless with a bunch of statements that mean diddly-squat this far out.

And the comparison goes even further than that.

With the exception of Mitt Romney and possibly a bloke called John Huntsman, the Republican field so far is as big a collection of nutjobs and unelectable extremists as you’re likely to see. Michelle Bachmann, for crying out loud.

As former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani said in Brisbane earlier this week when asked if he was going to run for President: ”The reality is that this is a long primary season and I will probably make up my mind at the end of the summer so this wouldn’t be a good time to be speculating about it.”

In other words, now is the time for the loony fringe to have their fun and the serious candidates will commit when the kids have gone to bed.

Now, I’m not suggesting for a moment that Susie Douglas, David Power, Tom Tate, Eddy Sarroff and whoever else was in the Newspoll are nutjobs and unelectable extremists. Not at all.

But the fact is, if that’s the final field come March, I’ll go hee.

And, just quietly, if that IS the final field come March, I for one will be writing Mickey Mouse on my ballot paper and ticking the box.

With all due respect to Power, Tate, Douglas, Sarroff et al, you’ve all had your chance. And muffed it.

Seriously, people, in this city of almost 600,000, are we honestly reduced to this same old bunch of faces running, yet again?

I’ve only heard of one new face sticking his hand up, and that’s regular goldcoast.com.au commenter Glen Crawford and he, by all accounts, is not interested in the mayoralty, just a place on Council.

My only hope is that some time in the next six months, somebody on the Gold Coast — someone with a brain, a sense of balance, and a civic commitment to getting this city fixed — will look at the field and think: ”Bloody hell, even I could do better than that.”

And will then proceed to do so.

We’re in a lot of trouble if all the city can throw up in terms of civic leaders is the same boring, tired, predictable and, frankly, ineffective faces that have been on the scene for the last 8-10 years.

Somewhere out there is someone who hasn’t yet made up their mind.

And if he or she has any sense, they’ll wait just a little longer before revealing themselves.

my friday blog over at goldcoast.com.au … Explore your inner drive-in bogan

you can read it here. or you can read it here.

I REDISCOVERED a cracking part of my youth last Tuesday night when I pootled along to the Yatala Drive-In for a triple feature.

I love my movies, it has to be said, but nothing gives me the pip more than forking out $20 for one movie, a rock-hard Choc Top and a watered-down drink at my local cineplex.

Cheap entertainment it is not. Not even on Cheap-As-Chips-Chuesday.

So a quick flirt with Google and lo, up popped the Yatala Drive-in.

A choice of two screens, and six flicks. Three first-release movies for the grand total of $24.

It sounded good to me and I hopped in the trusty truck and nipped up to Exit 38.

Half an hour later I’m snuggled up in the warmth of my own car, hot dog and potato gems in hand, and a plastic bag of Freckles and Jaffas for afters.

Apart from seeing three pretty good movies for half the price of a cineplex, the entertainment value of my fellow audience members was almost worth the price of admission alone.

Kids in their PJs perched on mattresses on the top of Dad’s Hilux, Mum in her Uggs, Uncle Tony in his trakky-daks with the ciggie hanging out the corner of his mouth. Mullets by the carload.

It was brilliant.

Last time I was at the drive-in it was for a triple feature of Police Academy 1, 2 and 3, so that ages me for a start.

The time before that was in my Mini Moke at the Darra Drive-in for a double feature of Young Doctors In Love, followed by Flash Gordon.

Not that I saw much of those two, because my lovely companion and I were too busy, um … well, killing mosquitoes actually. Not too much in the way of doors on a Mini Moke, y’know.

Then there was Battlestar Galactica and Logan’s Run.

Ah, youth.

These days of course all you have to do is tune your car radio into a specific FM radio frequency to get the soundtrack, but the old metal speakers are still available if nostalgia grabs you.

Just remember to unhook it before you drive away.

All in all, it was a top evening and I am determined to make it a regular thing.

At least I know the seats are clean, I can yell at the screen and watch the passing parade of humanity in all its Ugg-booted, mullet-haired glory.

And next time I will know to take my own toilet paper.

learn to love the different … my latest blog over at goldcoast.com.au

you can read it here, or you can read it here.

THIS city has a lot to learn about tolerance, apparently.

Here at goldcoast.com.au we run polls every day about the issues that are in the news.

This week we ran one which didn’t get a lot attention but nonetheless struck a nerve with me. And, frankly, scared me.

On Wednesday we asked: ”Do you think the burka should be banned in Australia?”

There were 768 respondents.

A total of 670 of them, or 87.2%, said yes, the burka should be banned in this country.

Now, we don’t pretend to be Gallop, or Newspoll, but 768 is a fairly decent sample size, by any judge.

I don’t claim to be a saint on the issue of tolerance, not by any means.

A couple of weeks ago I was sitting on a rock at the end of the Seaway wall, minding my own business, as you do.

Next thing I hear is a harmonica, atrociously played, wafting from the other side of the lighthouse.

I turn around and there’s a bloke, lying on a rock, entertaining himself no end.

When he wasn’t rasping away tunelessly on the mouth organ, he was singing — equally badly — and waving his arms around in a sort of prone disco duck kind of way.

”Dude’s a loony,” I thought to myself, clearly low on my tolerance quotient for the day. I proceeded to Tweet the fact I was in the presence of insanity, along with a photo.

And then it occurred to me. Who was nuttier — the bloke singing a song on a rock happily, or the chick Tweeting on a rock?

Seriously, people, we need to learn about cherishing differences in those around us.

We’re a city that relies on tourists for our economic health.

Tourists … people who come from other places and are therefore likely to be different from us, culturally, politically, religiously, socially, linguistically.

If our attitude towards them is a reflection of the attitude of intolerance reflected in our poll about burkas, is it any wonder people aren’t coming to visit?

Reputations travel, just like tourists.

Remember how quickly word spread internationally when Pauline Hanson was spouting her drivel about Asians and Aborigines? Remember how quickly the condemnation from our neighbours came?

It’s time we started accepting some responsibility for the way we treat the people who come here and pour money into our city.

If we’re so terrified of the differences in people that we are willing to ban something as innocuous as a piece of headwear, then we’re in big, big trouble.

And yes, I know I’m talking to people who, if the polls are anything to go by, will more than likely think I’m talking drivel, but lighten up, Gold Coast and vive la difference!

my latest at goldcoast.com.au … how bad does gold coast city council have to be before it gets sacked?

you can read it here, or you can read it here:

HOW about that Gold Coast City Council, eh?

If there’s one topic guaranteed to fire up our goldcoast.com.au readers, it’s the latest tidbit of ineptitude dribbling out of the Evandale council offices.

If it’s not Tipplers, it’s the Taj Mahal. Or it’s water charges. Or infrastructure charges. Or $500,000 ripped-up footpaths. Or IT overspending. Or dodgy overseas travel. Or rates freezes that never happen. Or CEO wages.

Oh, I could go on and on and on.

But I don’t need to, because chances are, if you’re reading this, then you’re very familiar with the issues and, what’s more, the onslaught of community outrage that gets expressed here via our comments forum.

The bad news is that however much we might want to take to the streets with our pitchforks and lanterns, there’s only one thing we can do to change the Gold Coast City Council and its gibbering ways, and that’s to get out the vote in March of 2012.

Sounds good, doesn’t it? Democracy in action.

The reality is that it probably won’t change very much.

So far, the potential candidates putting up their hands are depressingly familiar.

Tom Tate, David Power, Susie Douglas.

Yawn.

Here’s the thing.

There is another way to change things — REALLY change things. Drastically. And a lot sooner than March 2012.

It’s called the Local Government Act 2009 and it is a woefully underused thing.

Section 123 of the Act is all about ‘dissolving a local government’.

There are three circumstances under which the Minister can order the dissolving of a local government. According to Sec 123.1 those reasons are:

* the Local Government Remuneration and Discipline Tribunal recommends that every councillor be suspended or dismissed; or
* the Minister reasonably believes that a local government has seriously or continuously breached the local government principles; or
* the Minister reasonably believes that a local government is incapable of performing its responsibilities.

Hello?

This city is arguably the most dysfunctional in the country right now.

What part of ‘incapable of performing its responsibilities’ does the Minister (and Deputy Premier) Paul Lucas not understand?

So here’s the course of action that’s needed.

By all means, keep telling us via the comments section how mad you are about it (we love the feedback), but then do one more thing while you’re online.

Email Paul Lucas. His addresses are deputypremier@ministerial.qld.gov.au or paul.lucas@queenslandlabor.org or Lytton@parliament.qld.gov.au.

Let him know precisely why you think the Gold Coast Coast City Council should be replaced with an administrator now.

my latest blog over at goldcoast.com.au … Till death us do part

View it here, or view it there.

SOMETIMES I forget how conservative this city is.

I shouldn’t be able to forget. After all, you only have to look at the many and various polls that we run on this website to know that the majority of people who come here lean to the right, politically, economically and socially.

Look at the poll running on our Gold Coast news page just as an example. Over 80% of respondents so far are against a carbon tax.

So, yes, I shouldn’t forget, but when I do I am soon reminded that I am in the minority, not just here on goldcoast.com.au, but in the Gold Coast in general.

Nevertheless, every now and then I feel the need to stick my head above the ramparts and represent my people, damn it.

The gay community on the Gold Coast doesn’t have a very loud voice.

Oh sure, we have our own things. Gay Day. The Meeting Place, the city’s oldest gay and lesbian nightclub, and rumoured to be close to closing just a couple of weeks ago. Awesome website Gay Gold Coast. Escape Bar and Club.

But we’re not a very vocal lot, as gay communities go. Why that is, I don’t really know.

Perhaps it’s because the only time our issues get an airing is when something like the whole Adult X brouhaha that happened a couple of months ago comes up. Complete with its accompanying ‘hide the children from the nasty gays’ commentariat.

And then this week, here on goldcoast.com.au, we ran a story called Gay marriage ‘only a matter of time’.

In it the latest Galaxy poll was quoted, in which it’s revealed that 75% of Australians believe same-sex marriage will be legalised in this country. Even 68% of people over 50 believe that.

Predictably, out came the haters.

“Look up the definition of marriage. It is “union of man and woman”. “Gay marriage” is a contradiction in terms. Simply not possible. What is wrong with the way things are?” asked ‘Xanthia’.

Well, Xanthia, I guess if you’re comfortable with your fellow human beings being denied basic human rights that you take for granted, then nothing, I guess.

“God, I hope it doesn’t get through. I can’t even stand the thought of my ex-husband’s gay brother being around our kids. Gives me the creeps,” said ‘lollipop’, perpetuating the age-old pile of manure equating homosexuality with pedophilia. Inaccurate in the extreme.

Let me know if you want a list of links to the research that says otherwise, lollipop, and I’ll gladly provide a page worth.

Regular commenter Bruce Whiteside said: “In this matter the moral high ground is with those who recognise a man and woman union. Always has been and always will. Live the life you want but stop flaunting it and trying to justify and legitimising it.”

Moral high ground? Oh Bruce, you disappoint me. We usually get along so well. Also, just quietly, we DO recognise a ‘man and woman union’. We’d just like reciprocal recognition.

If ‘always has been and always will’ was the way the world actually ran, then blacks would still be slaves, women wouldn’t be allowed to vote, interracial marriages wouldn’t be allowed, and Pauline Hanson would never have been allowed to stand for Parliament.

Newsflash: The world is changing. Opinions moderate. What once was considered impossible, becomes possible.

Why? Because ‘the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice’. Martin Luther King, if you were wondering.

Gay marriage is coming. You can say the polls are rigged all you like, you can rail against it all you like. All we have to do is outlive the haters. And we will.

Gay marriage is coming. Even to this conservative city.

Late breaking news: AAP reports that the Australian Labor Party has launched a website calling on members and individuals to suggest changes to party policy up for debate at the party’s national conference in December. Gay rights advocates have urged submissions be made in support of same-sex marriage, a hot topic at this year’s ALP national conference. Submissions can be made here.

currumbin beach … anyone have an apartment to rent?

road trip! Natural Bridge and Springbrook National Parks

ah paradise. who knew that when you go in to a rainforest there’s a chance it could actually shite down rain. WHO KNEW??

all pics taken with an iPhone 3GS using the Camera Genius photography app.

Pocket Road bridge, Numinbah Valley

Pocket Road bridge, Numinbah Valley

Numinbah Valley

Springbrook National Park

Springbrook National Park and the cutest truck in the universe

Natural Bridge

Natural Bridge

Natural Bridge

Natural Bridge

Natural Bridge

Natural Bridge

Natural Bridge

Natural Bridge