oh the day i’ve had, dear stringies. it started out on twitter, as it does most mornings these days, just catching up with the world, sifting through the many and numerous links and news of the day.
then someone i follow, who i won’t bother naming and shaming, because it would be pointless, tweeted about a woman who was sitting on the train near him.
Oh that’s fucking disgusting. An obese woman sat across from me on train w/ visible pannus (wiki it) hanging below her skirt. Blech!!
now, i don’t care if the woman he’s talking about was rich, poor, black, white, gay, straight, able-bodied, disabled, whatever. we all have a right to go through our day without copping that kind of abuse and prejudice.
(you could argue, i suppose, that she wasn’t ‘hearing’ the abuse, and therefore, y’know, who cares? i don’t see it that way. twitter is a public forum – for all we know, she could read the comments there, figure out it was her and … but even that’s not the point. abuse one black/gay/fat/disabled person, you’re abusing the whole class.)
i was offended on this woman’s behalf. because i’ve been there, y’know? i cop abuse regularly, here on the looks-are-everything gold coast. because being fat is the last remaining ‘acceptable’ abuse.
so i called this guy on it. i called bull-puckey as the Adorkable One would say.
then came the torrent of the usual arseclownery – i’m loving that word today – ‘being gay or black isn’t a choice, being fat is’ … ‘eat less, eat healthy, move your body – 100% guaranteed weight loss’ … ‘i was 140kg, now i’m a healthy 90-95kg, and i’m gay, i know about prejudice, i know what i’m talking about’.
yeh, bullshit, dude.
it worked for you. congratulations. all due respect.
it doesn’t work for everybody. being fat, yes, being obese, is caused by an entire spectrum of factors – physical, psychological, financial, emotional, social, medical, and yes, sexual.
i’ve tried everything. i’m on my second lapband. it’s only now starting to work, six months on from insertion. and there’s a whole bunch of reasons for that, believe me.
the politics of fat isn’t a black and white thing. it’s about pain, and shame, and guilt, and shy, and angry, and abused, and afraid, and expedience, and poverty, and denial, and … i could go on for pages.
regardless of this woman’s reasons for being fat, she is a human being, with human rights, human emotions, human dignity, and she deserves all the respect we give every other human being who crosses our path.
is that really so much to ask for?
May 13, 2009 at 5:39 PM
Good on you for speaking out, we have been conditioned to accept the abuse dealt “for our own sake” when at the end of the day all it encourages is terrible self image for ALL involved.
I just finished reading Screw Inner Beauty by Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby – I think everyone should read it and re-evaluate their body-talk. Regardless of all the tossers who think they are “doing it for our health” – they fail to realise that they aren’t doing anyone’s mental health a favour when they criticise someone’s body. I wonder what they think of their own. Poor chickens.
May 13, 2009 at 5:41 PM
Human cruelty is so casual and commonplace these days…
May 13, 2009 at 8:37 PM
Glad you followed this up with an article for people who missed the original on Twitter. It’s great to see people standing up and refusing to accept this sort of intolerance.
It means that people who have remained shy and silent because they think others find them “disgusting” know that they have supporters.
Thanks again.
May 13, 2009 at 9:03 PM
and thanks for your support today david. it’s been an intense one. eh? i’ll probably retweet the blog later tonight to catch the americans waking up, hopefully … :0
May 13, 2009 at 8:44 PM
Chasing physical beauty / acceptability is guaranteed to bring disappointment with time and gravity.
Refining character and learning on the other hand are lifetime pursuits with tangible, increasing rewards.
May 13, 2009 at 9:03 PM
well said. thanks for commenting.
May 13, 2009 at 9:07 PM
Kudos for speaking up. It’s hard, but we have to keep doing it. Because every time the bastards get away with it, then they’ll do it again next time.
May 13, 2009 at 10:12 PM
yep absoultely. it’s interesting that all this coincided with the matthew johns sex scandal thing today as well. so much bullshit going on around that issue as well. it’s hate ‘different’ women day.
May 13, 2009 at 9:11 PM
Applause from this end too, Cate.
What gets me, what really pisses me off, is that he didn’t even know her. I know it’s such a simple concept to grasp but how dare anybody pass judgment before he’s bothered to even say hi.
The birthplace of prejudice is almost always in that cocoon.
Well done.
May 13, 2009 at 10:15 PM
thanks rickster. and you’re spot on. personally i think the dude in question was voicing his own self-hatred. he saw in her what he saw in himself before he lost the weight and he hated it. too bad he doesn’t have the self-awareness god gave a turnip, apparently. thanks for the comment, cherub.
May 13, 2009 at 10:32 PM
Fat’s certainly a prominent target for those bastards who think it’s funny to abuse people, but it’s not the “last acceptable prejudice”. http://kateharding.net/2008/06/10/quick-hit-racism-and-victory-daps/
There’s still plenty of bottom-feeders who think it’s aweseome to make black jokes, gay jokes, jew jokes, etc.
Fat is only the “last acceptable prejudice” amongst people who tend to declare themselves lefties and would at least *act* horrified if someone made a racist joke, but happily get on the bandwagon of whatever the latest fat-bashing item dong the rounds is.
May 14, 2009 at 12:24 AM
fair point. i think that;s kind of why i put ‘acceptable’ in quotemarks … it’s the last prejudice where it doesn’t occur to people that they’re being offensive. how’s that?
May 14, 2009 at 1:07 AM
Cate, a good idea about retweeting it. Do you know about FutureTweet? It lets you schedule tweets for the future so you can set up that sort of retweeting without having to stay up all night.
May 14, 2009 at 7:08 PM
Shut up, fatty. If you ate well, you wouldn’t be obese. Water retention, muscle and bone structure only account for so much.
May 14, 2009 at 7:09 PM
Who cares why someone is fat. Surely you’ve got better things to worry about.
YOU MIGHT DIE FROM THE STRESS, OH NOES.
May 14, 2009 at 11:18 PM
I care if somebody’s fat, like smokers you place a strain on our health system. Private or public – you either raise my premiums or waste my taxes.
I won’t die from the stress, but your poor, over-strained, failing hearts might.
May 14, 2009 at 11:29 PM
That’s incorrect on a few levels. I suggest starting here: http://kateharding.net/but-dont-you-realize-fat-is-unhealthy/
That is, of course, unless you have some kind of investment in remaining a bigot.
Funny how everyone except the bigots can use their real names, isn’t it?
May 14, 2009 at 11:31 PM
Oh very cute. Name calling is something that is relegated to the small minded.
As for your foolish comment about eating well, you are wrong. There are medical conditions, genetic predispositions and many other reasons we are the size we are. LOL you show your ignorance with your words.
As for hurr – if you arent part of the solution, you ARE a part of the problem. You only care enough to bitch and accuse. Stupidity like yours strains the boundaries of civility.
May 14, 2009 at 11:34 PM
Hey Cris, you know it doesn’t really matter why someone’s fat? Fat is fat! Thin is thin! Inbetween is inbetween, so on and so forth!
Justifying why our bodies are a certain way or another only sucks us back into the guilt cycle. Screw guilt! It took me a while to come around to this way of thinking, but you know what? Living without guilt is fricking rad
June 4, 2009 at 7:04 AM
Scottish researchers say the dual epidemics of Type II diabetes and obesity will fuel an explosion on the number of people who suffer heart failure. Investigators say one-third of patients with heart failure–a condition in which the heart ceases to pump effectively–have diabetes, and the treatment for these patients is “very serious.” And though most people think of obesity a risk factor for heart attack, it more than doubles the risk of heart failure as well.
More – http://www.upi.com/Health_News/2009/06/01/Obesity-diabetes-fuel-heart-failure-risk/UPI-95341243901151/
June 5, 2009 at 8:50 PM
um, yeh. thanks for that.
August 7, 2012 at 10:34 AM
I do not know whether it’s just me or if perhaps everybody else encountering issues with your blog. It appears as though some of the text on your posts are running off the screen. Can somebody else please comment and let me know if this is happening to them too? This might be a problem with my web browser because I’ve had this happen previously.
Many thanks